you can read me now

Category: Uncategorized

Here it goes.

SO I just wrote my posting at  Cruisers Forum. It will be interesting to see what kind of characters come out of the woodwork in response

“39 year old male taking the winter/year off. Id post under crew available but I’m traveling with my small terrier Isla, and trying to work out how feasible sailing with a pet will be.

I’m just arriving in the Sarasota area, looking to buy a 30-40′ sailboat and go sailing over the holidays.

I’ve got powerboat experience, commercial fished when I was a kid, and guided sport fishing trips in Alaska for several years on lakes and rivers, did a little kayaking, rafting, hiking, got a scuba cert, so I’m well on my way and definitely cut out for some adventure, and want to do as much as possible while I’m young. 

Specific to sailing, I have basic, bareboat and coastal navigation courses under my belt, a recent 6-pack (inland waterways), and on my way to get a captains license as well, but am looking to focus on sailing enough that it becomes natural over the next year, or lifetime maybe…

I’ll probably go it solo, but am looking for anyone interested with or without experience that wants to partner up in the process early on, help get a boat ready, exchange skills or just come along for the ride down the road. 

I’m handy and always looking to trade or work. I just remodeled a 4 bedroom house and turned it into an eco-lodge. Fixer-uppers arent out of the question, but the sooner I can get out on the water, the better. And it sounds like the time and place are offering a buyers market.

I have my strengths and weaknesses. I’ve been getting more and more into farming and gardening, turning waste into energy, helping communities solve problems in creative ways. That’s fueling my drive to travel.

I can do a lot but am only one guy and having company always makes light work, safety in numbers and flexibility. I am not a mechanic or captain (yet) but I operated and maintained my own boats as a guide, and am not afraid to tackle any kind of project.

I feel sailing is the most sustainable way to travel, so it just makes sense to proceed in this direction if I want to see the rest of the world – 30 countries and counting. I’m no genius, but I’ve got a lot of determination and a pretty good head on my shoulders. I’m full of ideas, good with people, marketing and sales, and will pretty much turn anything into a business if I need to make moneyalong the way.

Let me know if any of this resonates with you. I love ideas, options, like-minded and the adventurous.”

Life is a good mix

of uncertainty and surety. Of gains and loss. Of love and sadness.

Lying here, I’m contemplating the extraordinary silence of space and a vacuum, wishing I could experience it just once.  I hear my cat. I hear an airplane off in the distance. I hear the fan filter I set up to collect the dust particles floating in the air.  My dog is snoring.

If none of these were present, I would still hear the high frequencies of my nervous system, the hissing of blood in my veins, and beating of my own heart.

I guess that’s how I know I am alive.

I hear my thoughts.

I feel the tightness in my chest that comes with thinking too much. The fear. I shut it out.

There is nothing to fear.

Not being alone. Not people. Not change. Not rejection. Not falling. Not death. Not failing.

As I rise up in the shape and form I have in my mind become, look out over waters and imagine myself walking across them.

I need to get to the other side, but I don’t know how deep, how cold, how swift the current.

There are stepping stones leading away from shore. I don’t know how far they go but they are the only way forward.

So I take them one at a time, not thinking about falling in, only about going as far as possible.

My focus narrows. It’s tempting to direct it downward or behind, but I would lose my balance,  my rhythm, my feel for the stones and my sight of the horizon.

The turbulent, shadowy unknown is all around, taking what energy it can.

I ignore it. I must conserve, so I give nothing back.

Instead I focus on my vision, my goals, my presence. In my in mind and heart, I embrace the reality.

The path is one-way.

The stones are courage.







Falling horizon

This morning’s run is dedicated to an army brother who fell a few days ago, just one day before I arrived to catch up with him.

As I approached the mountains this morning, the clouds alight with a promise of sun, I took the high road, camera in hand. All the while, I knew the colors wouldn’t last. It looked as if it might rain, but I imagined the pictures I’d get if I got there on time. 

A few years had gone by, so little did I know he was even in pain. There’s a second where I wondered if I could have done something to change the outcome. Never-the-less, the fate of people and time takes its course. Winter happens upon us all. I’m relieved it hasn’t taken me when I’ve felt its chilly breath at my own back.

When I arrived at the top, I could see all below. But to my disappointment, the clouds had consumed the sun and painted skies gray. So I sat there a moment looking off in the distance, wondering what kind of life I lived. Racing here and to, with some destination in mind. Had I been true to myself and would I look back and smile once I reached the horizon?

SO, hello.  I’m here. Now. Taking a moment to reflect and connect with what’s around me. I’m breathing. Alive. And thankful to experience another glimpse of color, though the colors keep changing and fading.

And here’s to the man whom I met when I was 18 at Fort Huachuca,  to the memories I have  of him and fellow soldiers with us in Mainz, for some time Between Bosnia and Kosovo.

I am lucky I have these to enjoy until then.



Our song

It is gentle, powerful and radiant.

Let it light our way.

Let it move us to dance under winter’s grip.



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